This is personal.

Hi folks.  I have begun my perennial Do-Nothing Sunday by spending altogether too much time on Facebook.  I wound up scoping some old pictures, and I figured that I may as well put em up here with an explanation of my ongoing body transformation.

Not like that.
More like this... (read on)

Growing up, I was always quite slim and slender.  After some growth spurts, I was a veritable bean pole!

Cute, no?  You can't really tell, but I'm wearing an ankle fanny pack.

My mom always fed us relatively healthy meals, and we played in the yard.

In high school, I was very lucky to continue to feel comfortable with my body.

May 2004, an art project.  I promise that not all of my pictures are me in a bathing suit.

When I was in college, I ate (and drank...) whatever I wanted, to my detriment-- I was not getting enough balance and nutrients!  I remember eating cereal bowls of soft serve for dinner in the cafeteria.  That was college, ha.  Luckily, I somehow managed to maintain a body similar to what I grew up in.  Gotta love that college metabolism.  Like I said, I wasn't eating very well, and I never set foot in the gym.  I looked relatively slim, but I had no muscle tone whatsoever.  Didn't bother me much, as I had bigger fish to fry: like how to pin a toga.

May 2005

I remember a day in Spring 2006 very vividly, during which I browsed a celebrity gossip magazine at school.  I saw a picture of Nicole Richie at her grossly skinniest, wearing some mess of a cute tunic and leggings combo (yay boho explosion of 2006!).  Something inside my head shifted, and I thought, "Maybe I would look better if I lost some weight."  Seriously, apropos of nothing.  Sad and inexplicable.

August 2006

I limited my food too much, dabbling in vegan diets and cloaking my restriction in ethical and environmental nobleness.  I'm not saying that all vegans are like this AT ALL, it was just me at the time.  Again, no exercise or balance in my diet (or life, for that matter).  I weighed 115 lbs.

September 2006

The lowest point of this era was when I suffered a terrible and ferocious bout of gastroenteritis that culminated in severe barfage and dehydration, which landed me in the Emergency Room.  When I recovered a few days later, I remember being excited that I had lost 4 lbs. with "no effort".  This makes the hair on the back of my neck prick up now.

April 2008

However, I got out of that badness and I finished out college on a higher note, going off of my diet and eating (and drinking...) whatever I wanted.  When I graduated in 2008, I moved in with my boyfriend and cooked up a storm.  It was fun, but it started a slow and steady weight gain.  I put on more and more poundage, and when I broke up with that boyfriend, I started drinking in a big way, which exponentially increased my gain.  Now, I never looked terribly heavy, but I felt AWFUL.

July 2009.  Yes, I grew boobs.

I was depressed and drinking a lot.  I felt sluggish and dumpy.  None of my clothes fit right.  I was sad.

August 2009

The drinking was a terrible cycle: I felt gross, so I drank to feel attractive, uninhibited and prove that I could still get guys.  The morning after, I felt sick and grosser.

September 2009.  I was photographed with a lot of PBR cans at this time.

I hate every picture of myself taken during this time.  I wore baggy clothes to hide my body.  However, I carried a lot of my weight in my face.  My round face was kind of cute, in retrospect.  Cuddly wuddly.  But I wasn't happy!

October 2009.  This was right after I met Jake.  I remember leaving this party to get another 12 pack of PBR.

During this time, I was eating half a block of cheddar cheese, a stack of crackers and a half a bottle of wine for dinner.  I complained to Jake that I felt disgusting, and made jokes about how much weight I was gaining.  Understandably, this caused a lot of fights.  I was defensive, but sort of fishing for "oh, you look fines", even though I knew I didn't.  One night, while complaining about my figure over a loaf of bread and a 40 of Colt 45, Jake (very lovingly!) took my hand and said, "Rhea... your diet is atrocious."  Hmm.

On December 17, 2009, I joined a gym, my very first gym membership ever!  I didn't even own workout clothes, so I wore old stretchy pajama shirts and tee shirts.  I had never run a mile.  I was intimidated by everything, but I tried to be brave and tested the different machines.  I was doing a lot of the stuff wrong, which is how I met my trainer, Saint Monica.  She showed me how to use the different stations and we talked for a while.  At the end of the conversation, I signed up for 3 months of training with her.  You can read about my journey with Monica here.

Should also mention that I quit smoking on January 1, 2009.

I have never worked as hard in my life at ANYTHING as I did during that time with Monika.

"As I lay on the floor next to a trash can, the fan from the wind caressing my ample body with the grace of a thousand angels, Monika assured me it would get easier. And it did."

When I started with her, I weight 158 lbs.  After a complete diet overhaul and three months of exercise, I weighed a healthy 135 lbs. for my 5'9" frame.  I was slim, but so strong.  It's actually been difficult for me to transition from the mindset of "losing" to maintaining, and I'd like to gain another couple of lbs. (today I weight 132), which I'm trying to look at as a fun, ice creamy adventure and not a source of stress. :)

June 2010

I ran my first race.

August 2010

I ran my second race.

September 2010, baby bicep!

I learned that lifting is a rush and running makes me feel powerful.

I had FUN with balanced meals and tried all sorts of different foods and treats.  I rarely drink now, but that's just because I've learned that I don't like how it makes me feel, and fresh juice is prettier.

When it comes to healthy and balanced living, every day presents a new learning opportunity.  I don't have it all figured out by any stretch, but I'm finally starting to get it.



Question of the Day: How have your food and fitness habits changed over the years?  Seeing it all in a timeline here is actually very overwhelming and a bit emotional for me.  I was so very fortunate to have the love and support of my family, my friends and especially Jake and Saint Monica.
Don't know what else to say beyond that.